Dreams that empower #childerensday

I was watching the movie, Helicopter Eela, with my son today and this song at the climax has somehow stuck in my head.

Yeh dil hai mera ya hai,

Ikk yaadon ki almari.

Iss almari mein rakkhi hai maine,

Apni ye duniya saari!

 As parents, our lives are so much around our kids. Isn’t it? So much so, that we end up Helicopter Parenting sometimes. I have been a dreamer all my life. When I was young, I secretly wanted to train as a professional Kathak dancer. May be, my dreams weren’t strong enough for me to become what I aspired to. And then I got into a trap. I wanted my kids to fulfil our incomplete dreams. Same dreams, different individuals. “Unfair!!” you may yell! Even I realise it as I glance back. But, it’s one of the most organic traps that parents keep falling into. I recall my dream of what my child would become kept changing with my experiences. When I was a software engineer with Bharat Electronics, there would be men in uniform who would sometimes visit to see the software we wrote. I so wanted my son to be an Air Force officer someday. While I changed gears and got into recruitment, The Big 4s were offering plump packages to Chartered Accountants. That’s when I thought how cool it would be if my son also becomes a CA when he grows up. We mollycoddle them so much that after a while all this care seems suffocating for them. And when reality sets in, as a parent, my expectations aren’t about a decorated uniform or glamorous job titles any more.. This is what I have learnt in my 11 years parenting journey. Now when I look at my son who thinks “Dad understands him better than mom, because they both are boys” or my little daughter who would start schooling from next April and is “Papa’s Princess” I want both of the do achieve these dreams in their life as an adult.

  1. Have a healthy lifestyle

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Everything has a right age, the metabolic rate, stamina, digestion power everything changes with time. I want my kids to understand it sooner and adapt a healthy lifestyle. It’s not that they should restrict themselves from occasional partying and binge eating, but exercise, meditation and good eating habits should make up for most of their life. It is unlikely with our routine driven life that they will ever get 6 pack abs. Honestly, my definition of good health has never been that. But someday, when the elevator is broken, there should be readiness to climb up those 13 floors by stairs. They should be able to ascend Mata Vaishno Devi shrine without wanting a need of Pithhu or Palki.

 

  1. It is okay to be bored sometimes!

‘Life is an adventure.’ ‘Keep your brain busy all the time.’ ‘An empty mind is Devil’s workshop!’ We have been bombarded by such theories since the day that we are born. Creativity culminates when the mind has been on a break. It is okay to pull over the vehicle and admire the sunset. Nobody is going to acknowledge the personal record of driving quickest from Agra to Noida. There is something known as ‘joy of doing nothing’. Lie down on the grass. Stare at the sky. See the birds fly past. And let the time pass. That’s when the brain actually takes a break.

 

  1. Always be empathetic

Empathy is not a trait. Unlike Intelligence. Empathy is a virtue. I would always want my kids to be empathetic towards people and animals. Value relationships and humans more than materialistic things. This reminds me of an unlikely story of a 3-year-old girl who scratched her dad’s brand new car that sent her father in mad fury. Only a closer look revealed that she had drawn a heart with ‘I love you Dad’ scribbled inside it! There is no point fussing over something that can be repaired and of course, there is no point at all in fussing over unrepairable thing as well, so rather than things, people should matter.

 

  1. Believe in gratitude

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Gratitude is the way to live life, the more thankful we are for what we have, God gives us more reasons to Thank again, is my and my husband’s motto of life and I surely want my kids to follow the same. The more we give is more we get, is applicable with gratitude also. My husband’s regular lines to my son are, ‘Ever tried to live a day in life of a child beggar?’. This almost everytime ends with a value lesson that we should be thankful for the gifts that we have, rather than feeling sorry about those that we don’t! Every day might not be the best day but there is always one good thing in every day, is what I want my kids to understand and acknowledge. Be Thankful for what you have.

 

  1. Have Vision to Dream and Power to make them reality

To have specific goals or dreams need lot of self-confidence, and fulfil them goes lot of hard work, sacrifice, planning and numerous skills like leadership, alliance, management.

As a parent we must give freedom to kids to plan small activities for themselves like planning to complete their own school projects, do small banking chores, manage money, understand and handle pressure with friends and peers, they won’t be self-reliant.

 

  1. Find True Love

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Love has immense power, love can make us fly, give strength to wings, give us confidence of achieving dreams, helps us stand even in adverse conditions. Without true love life is nothing. True love happens only when one or both the people are ready to take the story ahead. I urge to my kids to never be wary of taking the story ahead. Take the next step. I wish they both find their soulmate with whom they can share their lives. The way I have found their dad. Love makes life beautiful.

 

I know they won’t do most of these things suddenly one morning, we as a parent have to lead by example. And we are on the right path, that gives us confidence as parents that the dreams we have for our kids will be fulfilled by God’s Grace, if they practice and fulfill these dreams, as parents we are sure they might or might not be rich with money but they surely will be happy and good human beings!!!!! 

I have come across a great blog on How parents can contribute to overall development of kids, you can check this too.

“The Children’s Day blog train is hosted by www.prernawahi.com and www.vartikasdiary.com”. 

35 thoughts on “Dreams that empower #childerensday

  1. Oh wow. It seemed as if someone is writing my mind. After 35 odd years of seeing a lot of highs and lows in life this is exactly what I will tell my kids too. And yes I totally agree when you say that we need to lead by example. Lovely post dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved the post Ujjwal and could co relate with this so well. I know, as a parent we always had higher sets of expectations from our kids but practically, it is not possible that our kids lives our dreams..you had suggested really great points and I am sure all parents would love to cultivate these in their kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved this post, Ujjwal. Rather than setting high expectations you have given some great advice. These dreams are the ones I have for my little one so I know they come straight from the heart of a mother who only wants the best for herchildren.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes, we often see our children fulfilling our dreams but that is not fair. The way we lived our dreams, they have all the rights to live their. We should be there to guide them, help them and encourage them and not drawing their path.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Life is an adventure , well said, we often forget this as we get busy in our responsibilities, but to live life in the best way, one should dance as no one is watching, and about healthy lifestyle, no one could sum up better than the way you described the importance of health, importance of relationships, value of gratitude, true love, dreams, all points well taken, must say your kids are lucky to have as their parent. Good luck to kiddos and to you as well- Mittali

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is an amazing post. people tell us to have no expectations from the baby but a parent cant help it. It is natural and u have just thought of prospective career options for him but I have even had dreams of my perfect bahu. When i see some girls in metro or mall, i am like “Yeh mere bete ke liye achi rahegi..yeh nai.. blah…” All of this when my son is just 4yr old. Cliched!! I know but maa ka dil can never stop thinking about kids… Ur views on life are beautifully summed up.
    i totally love the theme and design of ur blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. very well explained and picked all the basic attributes, necessary to become a good human being primarily, these are the basic “have ro be” points which every parents dreamt of and trying there best to cultivate these into their children.

    Like

  8. Completely agree with you, parents should let the kids dream what they want to and not impose the burden of their unfulfilled desires on them. And some very helpful advice also you have mentioned.

    Like

  9. As a new parent, my first mantra has been to avoid helicopter parenting. Too much indulgence into kids life makes it difficult for them to adapt as per the situation. And, I concur with all your points!

    Like

  10. So well written post, the lines did u ever live a life of a child beggar? Hit me,it’s so true these days kids don’t realise the worth of d things v give them, they always want more. I believe gratitude is a key to a happy life…😀

    Like

  11. This is such a lovely post, Ujjwal. We wish to see our kids happy and want them to achieve the best in life. But imposing our own unfulfilled dreams is not the right way. I would love to see my son carve his own path and do the right thing always.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Great pointers in the post Ujjwal. Yes it is definitely our children choice to select their profession in life and at the end of the day what we want is our child to be good human being where happiness surround them.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I totally agree with you on this as I too believe kids should explore and grow the way they want to do.. putting our expectations stops their own thinking and in a way we loose their creativity

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  14. YOu wrote this so beautifully Ujjwal, I absolutely loved reading this. Dreams are beautiful and very personal, I always tell my kid to dare to dream and work towards it because at the end of the day that’s what brings happiness in our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s a great post and I loved the fact grant you have included “finding true love” in the list as well. An underrated but important tip for our children.

    Liked by 1 person

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