I can feel the fluid all round me, but how is that possible I am a young lady living in London, my dad was deputed in a country called India when I was a child, I loved the vibrancy of the country, although it was densely populated and not as progressed as ours, but people were helpful, simple and hardworking. I wanted to stay there for long, I had made many friends too but dads’ job was over there, everyone was saying we were sent back and India is set free as an independent country. Oh! so we were not the good people, Indians hates us, I am not sure if they liked me but I liked the place very much. The huge trees, horses, colorful clothes all was amazing. I always thought of getting born there in my next birth. wait I am changing. The time is passing by I am getting a defined shape now. I have new hands, legs and even a new face. All of it so tiny.
Now I realize I am in the womb, this is my mom. I can hear her and I can feel my dad talking and touching me through her. They both love me a lot. There are many other voices around too.
I have heard few ladies discussing if my parents have checked whether I am a girl or a boy, I don’t know what that means but it doesn’t sound good. I think I will have to learn everything again, as I am confused now, about what will happen to me? The feeling is different, I am unsure whether I will remember about my past life once I am born again. Earlier I had so many siblings, will it be same now also? I won’t mind if I have none, as they didn’t treat me very well then. Which country I am being born, from what I hear I think it’s finally India. I am going back. Anyways London will always be special for me, I wish to visit it sometime in this life too. From a tiny cell now I am grown completely, now there is lot less space in mom’s tummy, I can hardly move. I know my effort to move troubles mom. since sometime, my head feels stuck in a tunnel. I can see my hands and legs but can’t move much.
Oh Oh!!! what’s happening, Wait I guess finally its time, it’s that white, pristine light again. The peace, i have experienced once is breaking with a huge cry, it’s me who is making all this noise and here I am crying in the doctor’s hands, she cleaned me, wrapped me and handed over to my mom. My mom is so beautiful and loving, she is crying and smiling both while she is looking at me. And she kissed me all over, now I will meet my dad I guess, oh! there he is waiting impatiently outside the Operation theatre, he is so strong and smells so nice, I am already loving him. Daadi is saying I am a good girl and didn’t cause too long labor pain to mom. In a few days they will take me home.
Our home isn’t very huge, but it’s beautiful, apart from my mom day I have Tauji-Taiji, Bua, daadi-dadaji all here to love and take care of me. Dadi wakes up mom only to feed me, she loves both of us. Dad has a touring job, but for few days he is going to be home with us. I am new to this world and he knows I am going to need him.
Today there is a function and puja, my uncle and Aunt are all here, everyone is wearing so many bright colors, lots of colors I can see, I think I have some memory of these vivid colors. Finally, I have also got new clothes, a yellow colored parkar-polka. I loved it. I can’t talk otherwise I would have told them about it. My aunt has decided my name, off Course in concurrence with my mom, my mom is loving yet she seems a little strict too. Although she hasn’t said any such thing to me yet, but I am intelligent I can see her temper flies fast. But I love her. They are thinking of me as a doll, and passing me from hand to hand, Bua bent in my crib and told me my name in ears, and someone punched her in back, some ritual I guess because no one scolded that lady. Adults are funny, I guess.
Antara, yes you head me right. Now on they won;t call me baby rather I will be known as Antara. It means Beauty and second para of song. I wish with love of my parents and my luck my life is going to be a happy Song, am I expecting too much?
This blog of part of #A2Z Challenge, there will be 26 blogs in this series all the blogs are in continuation. I am writing them from Z to A, as the story also flows from Death towards life. Hope you enjoy knowing Antara’s journey.
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